"He's a really nice guy... he just isn't good with money."
It's a statement I've heard more than once, and every time I do, I wonder what it actually means. Does he spend beyond his means? Does he avoid saving? Is he generous to a fault? Or is he simply at a different stage in life? We tend to describe bad money habits as though they're a personality flaw, but money is rarely that simple.
Maybe that's because we don't talk about money nearly as much as we should. We spend a lot of time talking about love languages, communication styles, and emotional intelligence, but somehow, money still feels like the awkward guest in the room. It's easier to ask someone about their five-year plan than it is to ask about their spending habits. Yet the longer I think about it, the more I wonder if the small financial decisions we make every day reveal just as much about us as the words "I love you" ever could.
I've always found it interesting that we ask all the right questions before committing to someone. What do they do? Where did they grow up? Do they want children? But we rarely ask, "What's your relationship with money?" Maybe because it feels intrusive. Maybe because we assume love will somehow make those conversations easier later. Yet money has a way of showing up in the smallest moments. It's in how someone celebrates, how they respond to emergencies, whether they plan ahead, or leave everything to chance. Long before money becomes a problem, it quietly reveals a person's habits.
I don't believe bad money habits automatically make someone a bad partner. People spend for different reasons. Some grew up in homes where money was always scarce, so they spend freely now because they finally can. Others save every naira because financial security gives them peace of mind. Neither approach is inherently wrong. The challenge begins when two people with completely different relationships with money begin building a life together without ever talking about it.
So, can love survive bad money habits? I think it can….but only when love is accompanied by honesty, accountability, and a willingness to grow.
Oluwadarafunmi Olulana
Career